Monthly Archives: October 2011

Katy Perry drag?!

With a couple edits to the lyrics (i.e. inserting some sexy consent!), I would be SO DOWN to do a drag of Katy Perry’s ‘song’, “Peacock.”

Why would I do this? For starters, I’m super addicted to the song. That’s right. I SAID IT. I am fine to admit it.

Second – it simply begs for some SERIOUS queering. Every time I listen, I imagine this uber amazing breakdown: me wearing a gigantic set of feathers (assortment of pinks and purples), gyrating in front of a bus stop (why not?), with a set of genderfucking back-up dancers bringing something fierce. Imagine a bus pulling up and all the people riding raising some mad Lezbian Fists!

MAYBE I’ll ship my ass over to England for the next Alternative Miss World dressed as a giant silicone peacock!

And it goes without saying that telling your lover(s) that you want to admire the majesty of their flesh-and-silicone treasures is simply the best.

Oh and I’m taking some mad inspiration from Ryan Yezak & Crew’s video:

The Art of Public Dreaming

I’m in the creation phase of a public performance project. I’m going to have amazing mind sex with the idea of Public Dreaming. It’s gonna be great.

What is Pubic Dreaming? Who does it? In what ‘Public’? QUESTIONS! So many questions… I’m really excited to start mapping out how, for example, I might dream on the bus about seeing an ad saying, “Pregnant? In crisis? Call the PEOPLE WHO CARE hotline now! Speak to a non-judgmental human being who can tell you about abortion, adoption, parenting, or communal living supports!”

Or, another idea that excites me very much = dreaming about really raunchy queer sex romps while in line to pay for my lunch at the Municipal Administration building. (Or in any staunch, sterile place, really.)

While gathering inspiration via the internet, I found THIS! (http://www.lucidstage.com/event/welcome-to-homo-hollow-8pm/) Here’s an excerpt to explain:

“The Eggplant Faerie Players is a vaudeville circus troupe based at the queer community of Ida in the buckle of the Bible belt in Tennessee. Eggplant uses juggling, unicycles, stilts, satire, dance and drag to engage, challenge and electrify young and old alike. Picture Dame Edna and W.C. Fields doing Shakespeare.”

WHAAAAAAAATTTT?!!!

I’m now going to go fall asleep and see what image of the Eggplant Players I can conjure up in Zzz Land…

Dialogue Fails REMIXED

Do you ever leave a conversation thinking, ‘fuck… I could have just TOLD IT!’? Riding home on your bike or slumped in the back of the bus wondering why you couldn’t have been a boss in the moment?

Just me? I THINK NOT. Y’all know what I’m talking about. So here it goes – it’s happening now: Conversations You/I/We Wish For…

1…

SEXY BOI AT THE BAR: “What are you drinking?”

YOU/I/WE: “Um, a gin and tonic.” *avert gaze*

YOU/I/WE: “Go ahead – lick my lips and tell me.”

2…

PROFESSOR: “I looked up this ‘Queer Theory’ on wikipedia last night. So it’s all about Foucault, eh?”

YOU/I/WE: “Well, you know, it’s more than that too… Like, this thing I read said..”

YOU/I/WE: “Actually, queer theory is this amazing, layered cosmos – sort of like getting lost in a Glitter Vagina Palace.”

3…

EX BOYFRIEND: “You’re a pretentious asshole. So I’m defriending you on facebook.”

YOU/I/WE: *no response*

YOU/I/WE: *NO RESPONSE* (finally…)

4…

DOUCHEBAG: *grabbing ass while you/i/we dance*

YOU/I/WE: “FUCK OFF, ASSWIPE!”

YOU/I/WE: *tear open shirt, blind DOUCHEBAG with glitter rays shooting out your/my/our nipples*

5…

DUDE AT PARTY: (responding to friend telling him he should dress up like a certain professor for Halloween) “I’m not wearing any gay-ass sweaters!”

YOU/I/WE: *what?*

YOU/I/WE: *leaves party to go crochet a sweater with a rainbow ass on the front*

BORSCHT?!

Heya Class Members!

Ever wanted to try some Super Sexy Borscht? Today is your DAY! Use up all them beets sitting in your fridge! Incite a REVOLUTION in your kitchen!
*Ahem* (I get really excited about beets…)

Let’s move onto some Updates and Reminders, shall we?!

  1. Readings! Remember to do yer readings, superstars! You’ve got two videos to watch and a blog to check out. (“Stolen Sisters” clips and “ClassAction Dec 29.m4v” – both available through links on our class website.) Easy as pumpkin pie! 
  2. Location! For the next three weeks (October 26th, November 2nd, and November 9th) we’ll be meeting in our usual space (Room 2143 in the Student Life Centre, the room with all the windows.)
  3. Visitors! A reminder that next week (November 2nd) we’re having visitors! 2 midwives who work with Planned Parenthood will be joining us for the second half of class to help us make connections between sexual violence, the birthing journey and process, and reproductive justice.
  4. Sharing! I really loved this piece and wanted to share it with y’all: “The Queer Fat Femme Guide to Better [Gay] Sex.” The author/blogger, Bevin, does a really great job of explaining how enthusiastic consent is super sexy, which is something that we’ll be talking about during our class on November 2nd. (If you’re wondering what this has to do with reproductive justice – just wait until our class on November 9th when we’ll be talking about Gender + Sexuality!)

Hope y’all are having super fabulous sunny Sundays.

Over and out of the closet,
Ashling